Why, why, why?

My heart hurts. I can feel myself sobbing but unable to cry. My thoughts fall and float to walking in to dark places. Why why why why why.....let go let go let go let go...it's all there. I will my soul to leave and to stay gone and away. It won't listen to me. I am so angry at it for sticking around. Then she is there, by my side. My tears still won't come. I look at her, wanting to know why? How to end this all? How to stop what I'm feeling? She looks at me, and I know now what she knows. She knows that it's been in vain. We will be betrayed in the end, not through evil designs, but by love. The grasping of this. To KNOW makes me feel like I've been shaken to the core. I wake sobbing and screaming...